So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i think my cat just said my name.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
