Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
