If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
