It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
