May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
