So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
