It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize