I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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