bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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