lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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