Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
