He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
