I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
