I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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