I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
