She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
