porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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