I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
