4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
