just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
