is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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