eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
