I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
