i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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