so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
