Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
