Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
