so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
