if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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