A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
