I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
