I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
