So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
