I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
