Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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