can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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