Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
