i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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