this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
