I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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