i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
