you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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