i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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