If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
