He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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