Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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