brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
