why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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