just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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