actually, I'm a sock model
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
