oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
