he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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