Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Are we still banned from the library?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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