Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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