your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
