i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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