Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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