We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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