How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
