..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i don't like sucking hair
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
