My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
