Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
