I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
there is glitter all over my balls
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
