I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The uberlube is also flammable
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize