drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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