Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize