we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
