wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
