DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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