when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
