i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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